Wow! Old blueprint coming in loud and clear. I seem to have a pattern and I start to slack off in the readings and the sit around this time in the course. (this is my third time through this course) Life gets busier because everything is growing. Next to go is faith and courage, fear starts to creep in. Then it is a like an old country song that keeps repeating the same stuff over and over again without the happy ending.
Last Sunday we had an incident where a pot was left on too long and there was smoke. Lucky nobody was hurt, any longer it could have been catastrophic. My battery on my iphone is being consumed, even when it is not being used, the kitchen sink had a leak. This morning after only 3 hours of sleep, I woke up to my car being stolen. Really…………??
My positive mental diet with no negative thoughts got restarted every few minutes this morning. I heard someone say that fatigue makes cowards of us all. So what did I do? I phoned close friends and family members. I told everyone that would give me the time of day. Posted it on Facebook and the MKMMA. Purpose? Perhaps for people to feel sorry for me. Why would I want that? Negative attention is better that no attention perhaps. It can be lonely being in business.
Also this way I get to live that over and over again. What we focus on grows. Then I wonder why something else happened. What did I get from it? The same feelings that I am addicted too… You know being in crisis, having to figure things out and get through the process again. I have had 3 cars stolen in 5 years, went through 3 cars in one year. It has been my pattern. Why would I change it now?
Right I am a new woman with a new life and I greet every day with love in my heart and have a definite major purpose to serve many people. Time to step up the process even when I want to hide under the covers and wish the world away….